


Lonely Boy

by spacerDiwyllian



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Sadstuck, Short Story, Zombiestuck, dirkjake - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 01:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacerDiwyllian/pseuds/spacerDiwyllian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How come the world looked so big and scary once you were alone? Once you were walking on a dead road against a place you never thought you would see like this? Covered in blood...  not your own but...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely Boy

Fuck. 

The blonde guy stopped, his eyes facing the ground and his right hand gripping an old and bloody katana. His hand were shaking just as much as his legs, it was like he finally realized what had happened to everyone... to his friends. It was like he could still hear their voices in his head, while they screamed for help, screamed in pain as they got attacked, it was like he could finally see their faces in front of him, how scared they'd looked and... He really didn't want to think about it. 

_”Did you like it Strider? When you had to use that sword against me? Your own friend?”_

That voice? Where did it come from? Dirk suddenly looked up as he gazed around, not sure what he hoped to see but he knew that voice, no way he would forget that accent and as it talked he began to see a shadow of a person forming in front of his very two eyes. 

”Jake? Is that you?” 

No it couldn't be him... Jake was... Jake...

_”Who else? Why did you do it Dirk? Don't you like me? I thought you said you loved me!”_ The voice became higher and Dirk suddenly dropped his katana on the ground.

”I do love you! I...” He couldn't say it, because that would mean he had to spell out the truth, to once again remind him of what had happen. ”I'm sorry Jake, I had to. You where...” 

_”I was what? Huh? You didn't even have faith in me! What if I had survived? You'll never know... such a shitty friend you are. And you killed Rox too... I hope you're happy with yourself and the shit you've done.”_

The shadow seemed to become more clear, sharper but he didn't dare to move against it, scared of what he might see. 

”You got bit Jake, there was no other way... I-” 

_”I tried to save my friend! That's more than you tried to do! Standing there, unable to move! Maybe... just maybe if you'd put that sword to use you would have saved us both, but no! You didn't and... and look at me now Dirk, I'm gone and you're walking alone on a god damn road, not even knowing where you're heading. Look what's become of the great Strider.”_ Jake laughed, but Dirks attention was stuck on the shadow since it now was taking a solid form, he knew who it was and it made him feel sick just as much as it made his heart race. Though it wasn't real, he knew that, but still it started to look so much like him and he just wished he could run against it and maybe hold him one last time. One last time without him being covered in his own damn blood. 

_”You're alone Dirk, all alone. How does it feel?”_

Dirk opened his mouth a little before closing it quickly again since he was unsure of how to answer that question. Soon he gulped and tried again. 

”I'm not sure...” It felt empty and lonely, of course but also... it felt like he deserved it. Jake was right, if he'd only tried to save them, or attacked some more walkers they might have been alive, walking right beside him, smiling at him. Quickly he brushed away something wet falling down on his cheek, he had to stay strong, to keep looking forward he... he couldn't. He hated this and he hated himself, not only for what he'd done but also for the things he never got to say to his friends, to his Bro back home, to Jane... He'd fucked up and there was no one left to keep him company or keep his mood up. 

”It feels horrible.” He suddenly said as his legs gave after and he sat down on the dirty road under him. He didn't even look at the shadow any more, he didn't want to look at it and think he just wanted to stop breathing and reunite with the others but he knew they wouldn't want that and even if they did they would hate him.

_”I know it does Dirk, but don't worry.”_ It was like the shadow had walked over to him without him even noticing, he didn't even look up to see if it was still standing there but a small gesture on his shoulder told him different. It was like someone put their hand there, holding it lighty as a support. _”I'm here, now rise up Strider, you can't lose yet, can you? Or are you going to fail me again?”_

Dirk shook his head a couple of times, once again unsure of what to say. It would be so easy to grab that damn weapon and put it against his throat, making a fast cut and everything would be over. 

_”Don't. Don't disappoint yourself even more by taking the short way out.”_

”...I miss you. I miss everyone... We could be together again, we could be happy... we could try.” 

_”No, it doesn't work like that. It's never that easy, reaching happiness isn't that easy. You have to earn it and by taking your own life you're just taking away your chances of ever becoming that. Just rise up again, keep walking and never look back. I'll be by your side, alright?”_

”But you said... you said that you hated me... and what I did, I-” 

_”I still love you Dirk, never forget that. You can make up for it, but not by dying. Now rise up!”_

Dirk froze for a while, his eyes closed and his ears focused on the wind blowing around his wornout body. It wasn't Jake talking, he knew that, he'd known all along but he wanted to belive it was him. It gave him hope... not much but little and he was right, he couldn't give up here on a dirty road out in nowhere. He was so stupid. At least he could die with pride, fighting for his life. 

”Thanks, I love you too.” He nodded as he gripped his katana once more, using it as a support to get back up from the ground before he took a deep breath. He was ready and his friends were with him, they always had been and always would be. He just had to believe a little more in them.

**Author's Note:**

> A short story I wrote for someone for our Walking Dead!Stuck RP. I've never written DirkJake before and I apologize if it's 100% OOC... ok I don't even care hoho. I just want to bring pain!


End file.
